How can we tell if our children have a secure attachment with us? The best way to tell is to ask ourselves this question….Do our children SEEK us when they are in tender or distressing emotional states or situations (especially fear states) and SOOTHE in response to our support and presence with them? In secure dynamics our children feel they can consistently rely on our availability, warmth, regulation to help them regulate when they are emotionally flooded or struggling. If we never had a secu