Ooh

Hey, I'm feeling so dirty, you're looking so clean

And all you can give is a spin in your washing machine

I fly off to Rome to my prima bella

She leaves me in the rain with telescopic umbrella

Aah the pain

Modern love can be a strain

Aah the pain

Modern love can be a strain

I trusted my Venus was untouched in her shell

But the pearls and the balls in her oysters were tacky as hell

For Lady Godiva I came incognito

The driver had stolen her red hot magneto

Aah the pain

Modern love can be a strain

Aah the pain

Modern love can be a strain

I don't know why they leave me in the lurch

To carry on the search

It's driving me up the wall

When I have so much passion

Romance is out of fashion

Can't handle modern love at all

Hey, I worship Diana by the light of the moon

When I pull out my pipe she scream out of tune

In Paris my heart sinks when I see my Mona Lisa

She gives me the wink, then she shows me the freezer

Aah the pain

Modern love can be a strain

Aah the pain

Modern love can be a strain

Aah the pain

Ooh the pain

Aah the pain

Ooh, ooh

Gimme the pain

Ooh, the pain