NICE - on one hand being pleasant, well-mannered, and polite, is great – it supports a civil society; but here’s the thing: being nice is also a conditioned behavior that breeds people-pleasing: a coping style from childhood to feel safe, to belong and to feel loved in an unsteady family system. When we put others needs before our own, in order to be accepted, it’s harder to set your own boundaries or even recognize your own needs. Being “nice” does not give you agency in your own life. KINDNESS